# Quotes From Bill Wattenburg

In response to a California state Senator asking his opinion of BART management:

> I’m still looking for the front end of the horse.—SF Chronicle, Nov. 19, 1973, p. 29 in Herb Caen’s column.

To the Maitre d’Hotel (while slipping him $20) after his date made him take back a bottle of wine—but one of many complaints:

> Take her away!—San Francisco Chronicle, Apr. 19, 1974, p. 27, in Herb Caen’s column.

Describing BART General Manager Billy Stokes at a Commonwealth Club meeting:

> The extraction by some farmers of methane gas from manure piles is interesting, but how can you top a genius who is trying to run a subway system on pure bullshit?—San Francisco Chronicle, Mar. 29, 1974, p. 29, in Herb Caen’s column.

On why he hasn’t written more books:

> You can sometimes beat the pros at their own game once. But they don’t often let you get away with it a second time. It’s much easier to find another field.

A favorite saying at the Nevada test site:

> A smart cowboy just wouldn’t work this hard to make things so goddamn difficult.

In response to a fellow scientist asking if he had been in an accident:

> No, some women just like to make their cowboys jealous. I guess it makes him better in bed after she takes him home and patches him up.

Describing the BART train control system in the 1970s:

> …the world’s most expensive, computer-controlled, track-mounted pinball machine.

On why it was so easy for him to find a easy, reliable way to duplicate the early BART magstripe tickets (and thus credit cards, until he helped the banks find a more reliable encryption design):

> It’s not my fault. When engineers have too much money, they usually think only of the most sophisticated ways they can spend it. No one asks them to play devil’s advocate and think of the obvious until it’s too late.

In response to an allegation that he was working for the Golden Gate Bridge district (designing a traffic barrier to prevent head-on collisions that the bridge engineers said could not be designed) without a professional engineer’s license:

> I don’t take public money for exposing high-priced fools who pretend to be competent engineers.

In response to a corrosion engineer who had been working on the EBMUD blue water problem for a year:

> Where I went to school, we don’t give degrees to engineers who can’t solve a problem in a year.

Upon being asked why other talk show hosts don’t follow his format of welcoming callers on any subject:

> If you do, you’d better be ready to spend three hours on the air admitting your ignorance. You’d better be prepared for what smart people will ask you.